||[Feb. 15th, 2004|10:08 pm]
|||||War All of the Time - Thursday||]|
I do apologize for not being an active member in the community. I work 2 jobs now in order to support myself, and have fallen victim to helping others out. I deeply feel bad for not participating. I have much neglected my own life, my personal journal, my friends, and family these last months. One thing mattered to me, and I am selfish for it all. I realize I could have helped so many others, and instead I wasted my time on a full time hardcore loser. Not for love, not for money-but I had hope. The breaking point has happened, and it has brought me to this point.
My frustrations and battles in life have taken me away from everything. I lost my cousin on February 2nd to a drunk driver, and my friend Jimmy to Hodgkin's Lymphoma Feb. 5th. I have had a hard time dealing, and coping with everything. I have withdrawn a lot and thought a lot of things over. Maybe this time all the promises I am making to myself will not be broken. I will try harder to listen to others. I feel if I can recommit myself within the next month I will keep my part in the community, if not I have no choice but to leave. It is really that simple. IT is a hard choice but why waste your time. Not that any of you care or anything, but I do. Those of you who do, thanks. I am need of support, as well of the rest of you. I guess that's why I am a part of this. Thank you for your time. Thank you Live Journal for being there, even in silence. If someone reads, it helps ease the day. In silence, or with response this has impacted my life.