||[Mar. 28th, 2004|07:14 pm]
|||||Clockwork - Cooter||]|
I am getting irritated with my e-mail lately. Every time I seem to want to check it I can't. What the hell I say? Maybe it is time for a new email addy. One that doesn't totally suck monkey balls. One in which I have access too whenever I damn well feel like checking it. Why the hell can't I just kick it in the balls and get it to cough up what I want? Fucker.
Everything can't go right, and I don't ask for it too. I am willing to take shit from time to time. I am not asking for all evil to be wished on me, but taking a little for the team works for me. But I just can't to seem to win anything, or get a little luck thrown my way,. Even when I work my ass off for it. Why can't I be blessed for a short time.
I am so happy, but so unhappy all at the same time. My life is unraveling. I am really working towards better goals. I am working on better friendships as well. I am trying to separate sex from friendships also. Why is it that you have to become everyone else in order to be someone? I just don't get it. To score some serious attention and affection you have to be like everyone else. You have to have physical features to attract, and emotional characteristics to possess. Why does it feel like an endless game. Why is it a battle from day to day? These question I ask over and over to be left unanswered.
I feel I am living my life in this totally emo trend. It is just a phase everyone thinks around me, but is this really me? IS this the genre I fit into? My head butting itself over and over. The headache of reality. Why does it all have to be labeled and fine printed in life? Why when it isn't we are somehow raped and violated of some shred of our humanity? Am I making any fucking sense!?